Bittersweet and painfully pretty #6

sophie6

Oxymorons, such as the one in the header, seem to perfectly describe the fleeting time of our adolescence, the being of our teenage years. We want to sit on the laps of our mothers yet go out and conquer the world. Constantly waiting to turn 18 and reminiscing the times when we were five years old and our biggest worries were regarding the swing and who would get to use it first. And so it is no wonder that now that I am inching closer to my return, I feel all these different things for these different reasons.
I left on the 23rd of August 2015, was waved goodbye by family and friends and will soon experience it all over again. I can’t say that I would like to go home yet on the other hand I can’t say that I would rather stay here either. Again it is time to leave everything behind and sort of start new; an oxymoron leaving you absolutely unsure.

There are several steps you have to consider before returning back home:
– change has occurred to everyone: you always think on year doesn’t change anything when in fact it changes everything
– reverse culture shock: you will have to adjust all over again
– reverse homesickness: during your stay abroad you found a new ‚home‘ you will eventually miss

It is important to start reflecting and realize the gains you have made in the last year. You can prepare with a checklist or by creating a scratch book reminding you of everything that happened over the course of your experience.
I don’t hasten to make decisions, I never did. I’ve always been indecisive and considerate of my every step. Pragmatically this would mean that I don’t like change when in fact, if it’s for the better, it is the opposite. Being spontaneous, living in the moment is only worth when you have a goal otherwise the crippling anxiety will roll over you and leave you empty. But the truth is the future is ours and we can chase after our dreams and hopes and have to make the best out of every situation. Which is really a motto we should keep in mind as we strive and thrive and learn wherever we go.

Life is about oxymorons ; it can be almost exactly what you want to be or entirely different. What I am saying is that beginnings are ends and vise versa — painfully pretty and bittersweet.

Greetings from the other side of the pond,
Sophie

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